You know you are a Turk when..

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you've lived in Auburn, Broadmeadows or Dandenong
you have at least one relative that lives in Mildura or Shepparton
your family or relatives owns a restaurant on Sydney road
your parents pronounce Brunswick as Branzvik
you know where "Ford'un arkasi" or "Corum parki" is
your dad's favorite English insult it "Blady poofta!"
you argue with your Greek friends about if Turks or Greeks invented kebabs
your parents watch the 'Ibo Show' or 'Kara Melek'
your father used to work at the Ford factory
your father now is a Taxi driver or owns a Restaurant
you are forbidden to speak English at home but speak Anglo-Turkish e.g.
"Mom ben tonight disari cikmak istiyorum" (this is especially true for Cypriot Turks)
you have watched all the Kemal Sunal movies and think they are hilarious
you are 30 years old and still living with your parents
you always bet money on Turkey in a soccer match even if they are playing Brazil
your name ends with han, kan, tan
you can speak perfect Turkish even though you have lived in Australia all your life
you are an adult and your mother still thinks she can bash you
your parents pronounce Coburg as Koburk
your name rhymes with your brothers and sisters names
your parents pronounce Thursday as Turzdey
your mother can cook at least four different kinds of dolma
your dad drinks two liters of tea every day
you brag to your friends about how your great grand father shot dead 50 skips in Galipoli
you learnt to dance the Zeybek by watching your drunken relatives at a friends wedding
at least one of your aunts or uncles is married to an Albanian, Bosnian or a Bulgarian
you think kick boxing is the Turkish national sport
you go out with a Turkish girl, your parents automatically think that you're going to marry her
your mother thinks that all Australians are uncultured convicts with no respect for anyone
you have at least three evil eye beads (Nazar boncuk) hanging over your doors in the house or hanging on the rear view mirror in the car
you don't know half the people on your dad's side but know everyone on your mothers side of the family
your parent's friends always confuse you with your older brother/sister
your parents want you to go to University just so they can show off to their friends
if your great grand mother was from Russia or Greece
if you think that Galatasaray is the best soccer team in Europe
your father thinks he knows everything and there is no way you can win an argument with him even if you are 100% right
you went to learn folk dancing on Saturdays when you were young
you are an adult and your parents still expect you to kiss the hands of visitors (misafir)
you go on facebook 24/7
you passed Turkish school with out doing any work because your Turkish teacher is a family friend
you have an account with every single mobile phone provider
someone in your family is a panel beater
your Baba hangs out in the Kahve (Cafe) with his friend's playing cards or Okay
your parents used to make you go to the Bakkal (boudega) to buy a newspaper when you were 5 years old
your mother used to hit you when you were small to make you stop crying.. I still don't understand that one
your father or uncle buys smashed cars, fixes them up and sells them for twice the money he spent on them
you have never paid money for a program or game for your computer, instead you just borrow it from your friends or just get it burnt
when it's Bayram and you go to someone's house and they offer you lollies, you take a handful